Why Should We Plan Our Family?
Why it should be the age of 26 years?
“Right age for a girl, by all analysis, is 26 years to get married or to have a stable partner and for a boy, it is 28 years to get married or have a stable partner.”
Because, I strongly believe that a girl should spend three to five years with husband before having children. I became a parent of two children after 5 years of marriage and we as a couple being mostly on our own, realized that it is a 24 hours job. Then husband focuses on the baby and fatherhood, and wife focuses on the baby and motherhood, they hardly have time for each other. Life dramatically changes once you have a little cute baby around at the age of 31 and 32 and for the next one ideally, there should be a gap of three years between the two children because when the first child starts going to kindergarten by the age of around 4, then you are ready for the second child.
Same thing happened to us, my wife wanted to have children and I did insisted that we were in the US and could not afford to have children so soon. Our parents too were not exactly available there. So, after mutual agreement we enjoyed first five years of our life, and after five years we really wanted to become parents. When we became parents fortunately, we did not plan for the second one, but we had two children in one year, a girl and a boy and we were ready for it.
We finished our education and training and we both could focus, especially the mom for next five years on raising both the children. For the first five years, we were working part time and making 50% of our income so that we would be able to have time to spend with children.
After children started going to kindergarten school and the primary school and their after hour program and different programs did cost us more money. But, paradoxically, actually since we could work for longer hours, we were making more money.
Fortunately, especially in contrast I can mention about a couple who got married almost at the same time we did and they just lie us, had two boys within tow years after marriage. Thing is, if you are living in a big joint family where your parents, your sister in laws and other family members are there in the house to help you out, it becomes much easier and they can take care of the children. You can get a break and you can go out.
But, once you have one small child or two small children and if only you as a couple is there to take care of the child, then the baby becomes most important and you literally have to put rest of your life on hold till children start going to kindergarten.
You cannot just pick up a car and drive to the next town or catch a flight or go in the morning and come back in the evening. One time, before having children, we just picked up a car an drove for five days to Pennsylvania for an exam and enjoyed our time and a mini honeymoon.
My close friend got married in the same month as we did and same situation like us, we both were couples in the same town. We delayed our children for five years but they had two boys within first two years of their marriage and we could understand that they were not ready for such a hectic life right after marriage.
As we all went through life, we saw our close friends going through crisis in their lives. All four of us are doctors. Things have stabilized now but as those first five years were full of pleasure for us, it was equally difficult for my friend and his wife because of new marriage, training and two children, all within aa short time period.